Some opening nastiness, so there will be no misunderstandings ...

Membership in this group is supposed to be limited to the users of Yelp. Supposed to be. Very often, I'll leave the group open for the convenience of the would-be membership, and I'm sure that some people who aren't on Yelp will ignore the stated wishes of the admin and founder of the group (me) and join, but they do so at their own risk. If somebody is called on this, and can't provide evidence that he is one of the members on Yelp (say, by linking to one of their photos on Flickr from one of their reviews on Yelp), or at least were users of Yelp, once - and was thrown off the service without just cause - I'll probably ban him.

A point that needs to be made in general, applies to this group with even greater force: a group is not a guestbook. Did one of the members of my group give a bad review to somewhere you work at or own? Do you want to write a rebuttal to that bad review? Do you feel that you have a right to write that rebuttal? If the answer to that last question is "yes", then I'll agree with you - up to a point. As long as you're not lying - and yes, equivocation does count as lying - you do have a right to post that rebuttal. I'd say that you had a moral right to do so. What you don't necessarily have a right to do is post it in the location of your choice.

If you come into my group to pick a fight with another member of my group because you don't like a review that he or she posted somewhere else, that isn't freedom of expression. That is cyberstalking, and I'm not going to stand for it. I'm sure that some will start screaming and whining about "censorship", counting on the knee jerk reaction many will give to such an accusation after years of seeing actions that really do constitute censorship shut down discussion on such a wide variety of topics, that hardly anything at all has seemed to be open to discussion, after a while. If somebody were chasing your content from server to server, perhaps that rebuttal to somebody's review I mentioned a moment ago, sending meritless complaints into providers and trying to get one's content deleted, trying to effectively create a barrier between you and your potential readership by forcing you to move your posts so often that hardly anybody would ever have a chance to find them, then, yes, that would be a form of censorship. But then, so is following somebody around and harassing him, because you didn't like what he wrote somewhere else.

This is not a matter of weighing one evil off against another, but of refusing to let oneself be buffaloed into seeing evil where it does not exist, and overlooking it where it does. Which brings us to the eternal online problem - that of a tradition of indulging people for no better reason than the fact that they chose to make a scene, that seems to be clung to with a tenacity that varies in inverse proportion to the reasonability of the complaint. I still remember somebody whose complaint was that I wouldn't let him post advertising in one of my other groups. I also remember the businessmen who complained, bitterly, of Yelp's refusal to let them reply to reviews, demanding to be allowed to post comments right below the reviews that they didn't care for, ensuring that in all discussion of their businesses on site, they'd effectively get the last word. Yelp, wisely, would seem to have refused to act on that outrageous demand. I wouldn't dream of doing anything to undercut them in this, even a little.

I'm sure some people will, eventually, come in to make a scene, and some of them will turn on the virtual waterworks when I throw them out of the group. Some people will feel ioky about that. My response to their feelings on this is to ask them to either grow a spine, or find a different way of spending their time online. A reviewer who isn't willing to hurt anybody's feelings, ever, or accept that somebody's feelings need to be hurt, isn't just useless, but is, in fact, harmful, providing the kind of quiet pressure that so effectively shuts down discussion, reminding those so conditioned of their duty to support that ultimate good - sensitivity at any price. When we get to the point at which the price to be paid is, not that we can't discuss politics on an adult level, any more, or even art, but simply whether or not one got a good plate of gyros somewhere, the time has long since come to see that this is just, simply, nuts. That, and that there is a social duty to stop enabling those who would use their craziness to get what they want.

The word "cowardice" carries a bad connotation for a reason.

What do I want to see on my group? Flickr is a photo hosting and discussion service, so, not surprisingly, I want to see photos, photos of the places you've reviewed on Yelp (or on the place to where you've moved your reviews, post Yelp). Reviews of places you've been are welcome, and please feel free to embed relevant photos into your reviews. Please do understand that others will be free to reply to your reviews, as long as they stay reasonably civil - and I do understand the concept of passive aggression. I also have given myself the right to use my own common sense, so if somebody is needling you, don't think that I'm going to be one of those anal retentive people who won't let you talk like a real human being, and call a troll on his nonsense. Honest communication is more than acceptable.

Attitudes with a capital A are not. If somebody is reporting what, in common sense terms, would have to be seen as being bad service (eg. water being served in dirty glasses), and you respond by talking about how much the starving children in Ethiopia would love to have those glasses of water or otherwise tell the reviewer to suck it up, goodbye - you're gone. Even if you decide to rationalize the attitude with a little philosophy class style contrarianism. "But does the wise man care about the flavor of his food, and if so, why?" "Yes, if he's writing a restaurant review, you mope" is answer, enough, young Socrates.

"Bad service on common sense terms? Isn't that a judgment call?" Yes, it is. "So how can I be absolutely sure that I won't be thrown out because we made that call differently?" You can't, but it's only a flickrgroup, so life will go on. Man up (even if you are a woman) and don't worry about it. At the time of this writing (December 8, 2010 at 9:36 am), in the entire history of all of my groups on Flickr, some of those groups having memberships numbering in the thousands, I've banned less than a dozen people in total. I don't drop the ban hammer lightly. I just reserve the right to drop it as needed, without going bureaucratic about the whole business.

Think of the experience of being in somebody's home, as somebody's guest. If you act like a jerk, you're gone. If somebody else is being a jerk at your expense, you expect to be able to say something about that, and for the host to have your back, as you do so. Those are common sense expectations that have worked out in the real world. How strange that they are so seldom tried online, when, in fact, they work out quite as well as common sense would suggest, bringing peace that is absent elsewhere. Those are the expectations that you should bring to this group, because they will be the ones that make Law, as far as I'm concerned.

If you feel threatened by what you just read, the navbar for your ring is a few lines down. You should use it. This group is not for you. Sticking around for a bad experience would be foolish.

If, on the other hand, you find yourself thinking "finally somebody said that", as well over a thousand satisfied members already have on my main local group in reply to very similar remarks there, then the group awaits. It's still very small, as I'm writing this, having only five members at this point, but I've found that sanity opens the door to growth. It doesn't guarantee growth or activity, but I'd much rather preside over a small group I'm proud of than a large group that I'm ashamed of. I might not be successful as some, using that approach, but I'm a lot happier that way, and so are my people, and isn't that what we're here for, anyway?

Let's continue on to the group.